Sick Day

There are any number of horrible things about being unemployed. For me, the worst part is the crazy guilt. You feel like you can't enjoy yourself or have any amount of fun, unless it's fun that you're having with someone who does work. I know this sounds ridiculous coming from someone who has recently got back from a self-serving holiday [and I have been impressed by those who "got" why I needed a holiday - at the same time, some people have been less than kind]. Most days though, I sit around being miserable - even as those closest to me tell me that this is not the way to feel [and, when I've known unemployed people, I would feel bad if they sat about hating themselves all day]. Today is a bit different though - today I am sick. If I had woke up this morning and been planning to go to work, I just might have called in sick [I rarely call in sick, so it's entirely possible I would have just gone to work and toughed it out] - or at least taken a half day. However...when you're unemployed - I feel like sick days aren't part of the program. Normally when I'm feeling under the weather I do my regular job hunting...however, I've found that on these days my writing skills aren't up to par and I make grammar and spelling errors in cover letters and the like and, in general, I don't give it my all. So today, I decided to take the ever-elusive unemployed sick day [okay, mostly because I was going to go to shopping malls and look for retail jobs, but I'm so dizzy that I had trouble standing in the shower]. For the record, I'm feeling mostly better - I had a bad migraine episode come on last night and continue this morning so I took some meds and they don't exactly play nice with my regular prescription, so they kinda kick my ass. I have no headache now, but I'm still very dizzy and fuzzy and a bit nauseated and fatigued as a result. So, no jobs for me and I'm trying to not stress myself out about the passing days before xmas...trying, anyway.

Due to my aforementioned fuzziness, today you will get stuff from all over:

- I just saw this
story on CNN and I have to say that I really admire this kid. No matter how you feel about gay marriage/rights, I think you would have to agree that this kid is courageous. A dorky 10-year old kid standing up [or rather, maybe NOT standing up] for gay rights - knowing that he will be targetted by his peers - that's something. Carry on, geek boy!

- I don't think I will make it through Sarah Palin media blitz week unless I significantly curb my television consumption. This is a painful, but necessary step. That woman makes my blood boil.

- I made a rather excellent soup last night - pumpkin with apples and ginger. A touch too spicy as I forgot how much I love ginger and therefore I should have used less curry and cumin. But still, very good and appropriate for the fall. I paired it with roasted garlic on a baguette.

- I got to see a shuttle launch today - as a result of my sick day [meaning I didn't turn the television off immediately following DOOL]. Even though I'm far from being the space geek I once was, I still think it's neat. The shuttle program will soon be no more, which is probably a good thing and a necessary step in moving space exploration forward. Anyway, it's still a bit of a rush to hear the countdown and see the shuttle blast off. I still remember all of the markers - the times @ which certain things happen to/on/around the shuttle. It's a bit like being on an airplane for me. Even though I've flown lots of times, every time the plane starts down the runway and then the engines really kick in and that moment when you leave the ground - I can't help but feel a rush. And while I know the scientific reason why planes take flight, I still think there is probably a bit of magic involved as well. I always look around and most other passengers look so bored...I don't ever want to be that jaded.

- I've decided to continue being okay with Christmas. This year I just went fully limp on any complaints of how early the season was starting - seriously - at my Zellers, they had this year's xmas stuff in stock in frakking AUGUST. Not kidding. Yesterday I got trapped north of Bloor and couldn't get to the museum due to Toronto's Santa Claus Parade [which I watched for the first time - it was pretty lame-o, but then, I hate parades]. This year I've decided to buy an xmas tree. Just a little one, but still - it's my first. I'm not sure what's prompted this - I'm not religious and really not a fan of the season and what it does to people...but I guess I want to fit in...with my sad little tree and singing/dancing/gyrating/flashing penguin.