Fashion Statement

Today I had my annual physical - which is exactly as much fun as it sounds. Truthily, I don't mind it and I think people make a far bigger deal out if it than it really is [both men and women]. For me, the worst part is the paper gown. Today the office seemed especially empty [it's a big practice - ten doctors and lots of obstetrics patients - I tend to be the only one with unfertilized eggs in the waiting room], so they did my weight and other prep stuff and led me into the actual room [which was fine because the waiting room has been cleared of reading materials due to concerns over flu]. As the nurse person led me into the room and set out the gown and "blanket" [also made of creepy paper] she said that I wasn't to take the gown home with me. She didn't seem to get the joke when I asked if that was a major problem they had - people taking the gowns home. I can just picture myself relaxing in front of the television in my super cozy paper gown...I wonder if they come in Snuggie/Slanket form? I ended up waiting 20 minutes for my doctor so I made the bottom of the gown into an attractive fringe.

However, I don't think there's anything else in the world that makes you feel quite as vulnerable as sitting in that tiny doctor room, under the fluorescent lights and wearing the paper gown [I accessorized with my plastic heart earrings and blue aeroplane socks]. Things don't improve with the looming presence of the stirrups. I dunno - I just feel like a bag of meat in that situation. I felt perfectly fine going in - eye makeup particularly stunning, my long luxurious hippie hair freshly washed, skinny pants and fur-trimmed boots...but then, in a matter of seconds I'm reduced to just a lump of flesh. I must admit, I don't love that feeling - I think that's the worst part about a visit to the doctor.

My health seems to be quite good - nothing for my doctor to lecture me on - I don't smoke, drink or do recreational drugs - I eat well and try to exercise [okay, I've been slacking in that department and it showed in my weigh in]. I did find out that I do have a curl in my spine [it was pointed out a couple of years ago by a massage therapist who gave me the worst massage ever], although it's not severe enough to harm me - aside from making my right shoe wear out faster than the left [I might get some inserts in my new medical benefits cover them]. I got some new meds. My doctor also told me about a recent study linking high protein breakfasts to a reduction in the frequency and severity of migraines. I'm going to try it out, even though I'm not much of a breakfast person and I do find protein to be too filling.

Now I'm on to the unenviable task of taking down the xmas tree...