Temporary Blindness

Yesterday I was physically unable to update because my eyeballs simply would not have it. After being thoroughly poked and prodded by the optometrist [and me], being subjected to the harsh glare of fluorescent lighting and then ultimately the tears of frustration - the eyeballs simply would not have me stare @ a computer screen [curiously though - they still love TV and baseball]. I was lucky enough to escape the eye drops of doom and dilation [does dilating ever sound like any fun anywhere? on any part of the body?], but only because I wanted to be evaluated for and fitted with contact lenses. I thought this would be painless enough - after all I am excessively comfortable with touching my own eyeball [yes, it's a lame party trick], so I felt like I was @ least halfway home on this matter. Not so much.

First of all, it was determined that as comfortable as I am in handling my eyeballs, I am not so friendly to others attempting to do the same. After determining that my eyeballs are in excellent health and I am a suitable contact lens candidate [as most everyone is these days] the optometrist decided to pop some in. Heh. Eventually I consented to having one put in my right eye, but she gave up on old leftie after a number of attempts. So I was brought into a different room with an intimidating mirror [hello pores!] and bright lights to try to stick the left one in myself. An extremely harried assistant type person gave me some instructional materials, which I attempted to read with one eye [only one contact in - and while I can read without glasses, I found the one good eye, one bad eye to be highly distracting]. Then she provided me with some instruction that contradicted the literature, but I'm a game girl so I gave it my all. Keep in mind I don't wear a watch and there was no clock in this room. Both the optometrist and the assistant kept popping into the room and provided me with the type of encouragement one would extend to a small, dull child. I wasn't tricked - I knew that I sucked. At one point they suggested I go purchase nail scissors to trim my nails. Feeling frustrated and in desperate need of a break, I went to the dollar store to do that [yes, with one good eye, one bad]. While in line someone in front of me commented on the time and it was then that I realized I had been sticking myself in the eye FOR NINETY MINUTES. Oh god. I went back and they suggested I just try removing the one lens [this was after I thought I had put in the left one, only to discover it on the floor well over an hour later] - they said this is easier than inserting. Again, not so much. By this point, my eyes had enough and I had the optometrist remove the one lens. I had been trying to insert/remove for a grand total of 2.5 hours. I was supposed to go back this morning to give it the old college try. I did not. My eyeballs are happy behind the glasses. Add contact lenses to the ever-growing list of things I suck @ doing.

The thing is, I do really like wearing glasses. In particular, I like my current glasses - they are the first ones I've ever been photographed while wearing. I plan on getting new glasses with my perscription. Even with the whole contact lens fiasco, I had only planned to wear them on days when I might get too sweaty [and my glasses get too slidy] or in moments of great vanity. I was very impressed with the feel of the lens when it was in - it felt like nothing and my vision did feel more natural [due to it actually being my eye that was seeing, not peering out from behind frequently mucky glasses]. I took a good, hard one-eyed look @ myself in the full-length mirror in the bathroom and I was a bit taken aback. It was the first time I had seen myself through perfect vision with no glasses in nearing 20 years. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but it was really something for me. I think I will try again with the contacts - I would appreciate any tips that any contact wearers can give me.