Hijacked @ Birth

Today my Google toolbar thinger that I have on my desktop finally popped up something legit to read...and not just the normal hot celeb gossip type stuff that I generally click on [and that stuff is all from Fox News so it's really crappy quality hot celeb gossip, but then the toolbar starts thinking that I really love that type of article, so then the whole thing turns into crap-o-rama - when in reality I just can't hold back from those types of stories]. Anyway - the article, found here is an exploration of how our lives are shaped by our genes and the unexpected connections between genetic disposition and life experiences. I find this sort of thing to be endlessly interesting - and not just because I think it's quite human to find things to blame our problems on. And genetics is really the ultimate - you have absolutely no control and all of these traits are just foisted upon you and there's simply nothing to be done. It could be a fantastic excuse for some simply terrible behaviour.

But it's more complicated than that. I was caught by this article because of the mention @ the outset of Sylvia Plath and her son [both suffered from depression and ended it all via suicide]. As perhaps mentioned previously, depression is something that also runs in my family. I can only speak to three generations, but both my grandmother [although never officially diagnosed - she just had her "blue days"] and father [officially diagnosed] suffered from bouts of depression and yay! so do I. My father and I both had anti-depressants prescribed - I filled the script and never took a single pill - I can't say if my dad ever took his either. For me, it's a strange comfort to know that something like depression is hereditary [although it factors greatly into my decision to be childfree as I wouldn't want to pass it along]. It's a comfort because it makes it more of a real thing. I tend to minimize depression and other mood disorders - I think because diagnosis isn't a clear black and white type of thing. And because I don't like feeling sorry for myself and I don't like having excuses for my own incompetence. But, if it can be passed along genetically then it gives depression a certain legitimacy. It should also mean that I'm not alone in this, but of course, I am. But, genetics aren't entirely damning - there are many other factors involved in what makes you, you [this article states that heredity is 1/4].

What's *really* interesting is the studies combining genetics and life experience. Studies note that genes that predispose people to depression also increase their risk of experiencing negative emotional events. Well, that just sucks, right? I mean, I resisted the depression label and treatment for so long because I always seemed to have real life bad times [deaths in the family, personal lack of success both professionally and socially, various other stresses]. So now things seem truly awful - genetics is screwing up both your head and your ability to keep yourself out of trouble. But, I dunno - I'm still cautiously optimistic. While you can't buy yourself new genes and, as they say, poop happens in life - you do still have free will. And, these days there are so many improvements in medical technology that can help you wage war against genetic predispostion. My grandmother had to suffer through perhaps endless "blue days" without anyone recognizing that she was sick...these days there's lots of little pills that promise better days ahead and therapy and alternative medicines and all that jazz. Things *can* get better [and it's beyond bizarre that I'm so positive about this - not really my scene].