Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I felt that any efforts I could make towards having a good blog day would end in ruin. I was feeling blue, feeling small and feeling the effects of my insomnia and teetering ever close to the tempting and yes, lovely feelings of depression. It can be a nice embrace, but yeah, I've got to rage against that. In order to do that I laid in bed and ate a gigantic orange and watched TV and enjoyed the relative silence [it's even more fleeting than normal in the house these days thanks to our new neighbour, who has quite the rock star lifestyle]. I'm recovering...but, I've got some catching up to do so here we go:
- I got turned down for the job I interviewed for last week. The people who wanted a receptionist, but called it something else. They told me I was not qualified as their reasoning for just saying no to me. I immediately guffawed [it was a voicemail, not a live person] and then immediately felt quite horrible. The fact that I'm not qualified enough to make the cut to the shortlist to be a receptionist, working for peanuts @ a small charity. Wow. You can't help but feel like you suck @ moments like this. I feel both completely delusional that I ever thought I could get a decent job and completely indignant @ the world [yes, the whole world] for not liking me a lot more.
- I had a doctor's appointment and I'm content with my new knowledge that my doctor and pharmacist are not trying to kill me. As a result, I'm starting my new migraine drug program later this evening. If things get considerably more loopy around here, this is why. I will take considerable loopy-ness in exchange for no migraines. And, being unemployed is a good opportunity for me to try to sort out my migraine mess without fear of crazy medication making me unable to function @ work.
- I made mulligatawny soup for the first time ever. In fact, I've never had it before as it tends to be non-vegetarian whenever I see it on the menus @ Indian restaurants. It was pretty amazing and boosted my self-esteem a bit to know that I can make an awesome soup out of extremely humble and frugal ingredients. At least I'm good for something. Also, decent-tasting naan bread that can be purchased @ the frakking Price Chopper [and subsequently doctored up with coriander and garlic] is a frakking godsend.
- My insomnia is kinda back [though I got an okay night's sleep last night]. This is because our new neighbour routinely stays up until 3:30/4am. His apartment butts up against our bedroom wall so any noise transfers quite handily. I think maybe he doesn't get that he's being noisy...but I haven't spoke to him yet. I find confrontation like this to be difficult because I get too emotional when I'm upset...and tired. Once my sleep cycle is interrupted it can be weeks or months before it returns to normal. So, perhaps expect new blog posts @ like 4:30am.
- This is an interesting article on gaming in the workplace. Personally, I think it takes the fun out of gaming when it's something that's approved by your workplace. Although I do think that video games can have really great applications...I'm not certain about the one discussed in the article. I think it would be more fun for offices to pool their resources for a Nintendo Wii [though, to be honest, the lack of true multiplayer games for Wii bugs the bejeesus out of me] or that playing other brain-building games [even online crosswords - we do this @ the museum] could offer more. Office people spend so much time sitting that it would be nice to have motivation to get off one's arse.
And today...is a brand new day...once I crawl out from under...
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Sorry to hear you're having a bad couple of days. I'm sure you know this, but the feeling of "I'm never going to get a good job" is normal. It will pass (and you will get a good job - especially since the one that you didn't really want isn't standing in your way).
ReplyDeleteI've never worked somewhere where video games wer the norm, but my former employer had pool tables, ping pong tables, and pinball machines by the cafeteria. It wasn't a big deal - they were really only useful when work was really slow, otherwise the guilt factor was too high (and why would you want to spend 1/2 an hour playing pool if it meant you had to work 1/2 an hour more).
If you didn't get the job, it wasn't meant to be. When the time is right, the correct position will appear.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about that awful day. Mine occured on Tuesday, March 31st. The funny part is that I have had a bad day on March 31st every year since I was 15. I watched Marley and Me on Purpose so I could bawl my eyes out and let it all out!
ReplyDeleteColette - that sounds like an interesting workplace. I can't imagine using those facilities @ a normal time during the workday, but during lunch for sure. I kinda hate workplaces where the hour-long lunch is the norm - I never know what to do with myself. I would think the games would be a great way to kill time with coworkers.
ReplyDeleteTo everyone - thanks for your support. I'm all better now [or that might just be the prescription drugs talking]. I can't allow myself to have a sad day as it almost always spirals out of control from there. But, I got it all out and now I'm ready to start again.